Allow me to accept
Other people’s families, fears
Delusions, denials and insecurities
As belonging to them. Not me.
Let me recognize
How my thoughts and actions affect my relationships.
If they are healthy then please let me nurture them.
But if they’re toxic allow them immediate release.
Please balance me with Love
While I continue this journey
Forward, in health and wholeness.
I found her clinging to a rock at Pohoiki
I was listening to a podcast the other day and heard someone comment that “GOD speaks to us through one another”. I agree. On many occasions GOD has offered me the right words to speak when they are needed or they are spoken to me through someone else at exactly the right time. However, when I’m not in a “fit condition” mentally, spiritually and emotionally there is another force that just wants to be in charge of everything. That force is EGO. When I’m into EGO I’m unable to work well with GOD.
At some time along the way someone said GOD is an acronym for Good Orderly Direction while EGO is Easing God Out. I’ve always liked that. It makes sense to me that putting EGO before GOD blocks, blurs and distorts all matters of Spirit and defeats the true self. My belief that GOD resides within me gives me the power to recognize EGO problems. Refusing that recognition is a denial of what GOD needs done. Being aware of how EGO affects my whole being… my Good Orderly Direction… keeps me more comfortable with the “shedding process” and the new aspects of self that continue to emerge.
I believe the single most significant decision I can make on a day-to-day basis is my choice of attitude. It is more important than my past, my education, my bankroll, my successes or failures, fame or pain, what other people think of me or say about me, my circumstances, or my position. Attitude is that “single string” that keeps me going or cripples my progress. It alone fuels my fire or assaults my hope. When my attitudes are right, there’s no barrier too high, no valley too deep, no dream too extreme, no challenge too great for me. ~ Charles R. Swindoll
My attitude is healthy most of the time. When it’s not well it kills my spirit and my progress. It’s a guarantee that I’ll turn into a screaming banshee when my attitude is on the rocks. I can become cocky, defensive, angry, fearful, a know-it-all, disagreeable, impolite, dissatisfied, surly or sullen. I can play the passive aggressive game, the hard hearted game or rant and rave. There are dozens of ways I can manifest that Bad Attitude and itwill always cripple me until I get a grip on it and change direction.
One thing I’ve learned is when I am not in good spiritual condition I tend to get a case of Bad Attitude. It may not happen right away but it will crop up sooner than later. This usually starts when I’m Too Busy to spend a few minutes with my GOD in morning meditation, prayer or reflection. After a few days of Too Busy I will neglect my quiet time for a while longer; usually just long enough to get into a lovely upheaval of emotional pain. I may start blaming other people or other things for my imbalance. The mayhem I’ve created can only be cured by affirmative action on my part and only I have the power to choose when this cure starts. Since I can recognize, as well as feel, the lousy position I’ve put myself in I am able to make the choice to change, start doing what I MUST and be back on track as quickly as possible. If I have a bad case of Self Will (another topic for a post) it might take a little longer but I’ll get there. When I’ve harmed someone with my unhealthy behavior then my actions need to be addressed and apologies are in order. If I’ve only beat myself up I find it worthwhile to make those amends to me.
When I stand in love, have faith in the process and know that all is exactly the way it should be at this moment, as well as keeping a conscious contact with my GOD I am able to live in a Good Attitude. Everything is calmer and I become comfortable with life again. Time is so precious and life is so short that it’s a shame to waste any of it cultivating a Bad Attitude. If you’re struggling with your attitude I humbly suggest you look for the moves you need to take to turn it around. It’s so much easier to live, to just be, with a Good Attitude anda softer heart.
“Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.”
That old maxim, quoted above, was in an email I received this morning. I was surprised because I woke up thinking about the sections of my life. Mine is sliced into so many. Several of what I’d call major parts I’d like to explore more since I think they hold a key to my evolution while I’m on this planet. I keep putting this on the back burner. My daughter… little Spunky… gave me some words of wisdom once. “Mom”, she said, “It’s okay to look at the past; just don’t stare too hard.” I’ve held these words very close as I still can buy into some of the “fruits of my stares” and then allow them to room in my head (AGAIN). They are getting easier to distinguish and dismiss as Lies I Tell to Myself. Lies I Tell to Myself are just that; negative, useless, senseless, baseless lies all about me to me so me can beat me up, again. I recognize that. It used to come in the guise of lack of self esteem. These days it only tries to sneak in when I’m not paying attention.
In 2003 my life took a(nother) turn. A death re-birthed me although through my blur I didn’t really realize it right away. I felt nothing but forms of guilt, fear and anger. I wallowed in my pain. Major depression settled on me. Happiness was not found in my vocabulary, much less my life. When I finally hit the rock hard bottom and there was nothing left to do but climb up or die I decided to live. I decided to climb. I decided… making those decisions one little step at a time; making my mind up to be happy and as free from negative influences as possible. Happiness is not one of those Lies I Tell to Myself. Happiness feels good and the (recovering) addict/alcoholic me wants to feel that high. I am not dead. I am sober and I am happy.
Happy Trails !!