A place for my thoughts

Posts tagged ‘Faith’

Beginning to Unfold

I want to wish each and every one of you a fantastic New Year.  I  am really, really, really looking forward to what this year has to offer to each and every one of us in our Universe and to the unfolding of events in this time in space.

I’m on a good, pretty even keel.  The holidays came and went without any drama, family trauma, co-dependence or guilt.  It’s 2013 and we’re all still here, although the climate has changed.  There has been a shift in awareness with information coming through much more freely and what I consider incoming doesn’t involve “DUCK FOR COVER !!!”  This incoming is gentle and loving, opening my awareness and sharpening my senses.  Old ways are dissolving while at the same time something so totally new emerges.  It’s almost magical the way it is starting to softly cover the rough edges.  My seeking, soul-searching and looking for signs of what’s coming next (i.e. “heads up”) continues with great interest on my part.  I started to write about the experiences I had in my alcoholic, co-dependent and dysfunctional marriages.  After 4 agonizing days and 2,000 words I put a halt to it.  I dredged up memories and went backwards to where I don’t want to go right now.  It’s said that time heals*, after all, and those particular past issues** have almost been dealt with.  Almost is the key word here.  I know I need to look again but found myself starting to stare.  I will finish it but need to do so with all honesty so, for the moment, that story is on hold.

I’m “lightening my load” right now.  It’s a process, this cleaning up and cleaning out.  I used to spend a lot of time in thrift shops and at garage sales and made some money selling bits and pieces of vintage and antique items.  Trouble is I kept stuff and it added to the stuff I already had accumulated.  Then I acquired more stuff when my dad died and we cleaned 55 years out of his house.  That’s a lot of “stuff”.  It’s similar to what I’ve done in my life; just packing one experience, emotion or thought away and then stacking more on top without looking at what is underneath.  Pretty soon it’s stacked so high I forget what’s down there.  So anyway….  I came across a box of my old journals in the back of my closet.  (Stacked under…  of course.)  They go back to the late 70’s.  I randomly started reading something I’d written in 2004 and finally had to stop just to digest the whole experience.  At that time I was starting to question certain aspects and beliefs in my life.  To have this reference point and to be able to see where I am now is really rather amazing.  Thank GOD for faith.  That’s what got me here.  My emotional load has balanced out along the way as I’ve dumped old views, thoughts and feelings.  I’ve learned to know that when The Committee goes into session it’s time to sit, breathe, center and focus on being still.  I’m being attentive and going with each new realization and revelation I receive.  I know deep down that it wouldn’t  be wise to ignore them.  I’ve spent years not listening to what I knew was right.  NOW is my time.  Being propelled towards a New Me is one of the most exciting things I have ever experienced.

* Transitting Mercury Square Chiron ,  **Chiron Square Natal Sun

Quite A Beautiful Ride

We are living in a time when life is moving so rapidly that we can’t afford to cling to old rocks. There is far greater wisdom (and joy) in opening to the adventure and making a game of flowing with the stream. It really is quite a beautiful ride. Sometimes it seems that life is not working, but it is. The universe is intelligent, and our game is to remember that perfection is always unfolding, even when we do not see it in a cloudy moment.  ~ Alan Cohen

I want to continue to explore, expand my horizons.  There are so many fascinating subjects to research and an abundance of life to experience.  I don’t want to cling to a rock until my dying day.  I’m enjoying my adventure and am finally able to see it for what it is; for what it has always been.  I’m recognizing the lessons and learning.  I’m learning that everyone I come in contact with has something to teach me and I am grateful for that opportunity.  Sometimes I instantly recognize the significance of the message and other times the lesson isn’t immediately clear.  Sooner or later (and it’s sooner and sooner now) it appears and I am able to acknowledge it.

Life is moving at an amazing speed at this point in time and I know I’m not the only one who feels it.  It’s not frantic or stressed out.  It’s more like the information highway from the cosmos.  I am receptive and am having revelations right and left, out of the blue. Many people are, it seems.  Are you ?  I’m also witnessing more kindness.  Yesterday I pulled up to the drive through window at Starbuck’s with money in hand and found that the unknown person in the truck ahead of me paid had my tab.  I was so overwhelmed by that simple act of kindness… paying it forward (backwards!)  It’s another reminder that helps keep my faith in humankind alive.  I know it was a direct message to me to be more giving, loving and kind.

Time is unfolding, more is being revealed and I gratefully await to see what it brings.

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