Transforming With Mercury Square Chiron ~ Time Heals

Our past is neither an accident nor a mistake. We have been where we needed to be, with the necessary people. We can embrace our history, with its pain, its imperfections, its mistakes, even its tragedies. It is uniquely ours; it was intended just for us. Today, we are right where we need to be. Our present circumstances are exactly as they need to be,  for now. ~ Melody Beattie

Transiting Mercury in Square with Natal Chiron

For this brief period of time, you will become more conscious of the energy for personal transformation and healing in your life. This will likely mean exposing some form of deep-seated pain for the purpose of working through old issues and ultimately healing these issues. During this brief period of time, you may be blessed to provide the impetus for healing to others. You may also feel healing energy come into your life from a meeting with another person during the course of this transit. It may also be that communication with other people brings to light certain areas of your psyche that you would rather not have exposed, and that can be quite painful for you to connect with. But getting in touch with these areas is for your ultimate benefit, for the more integration you can achieve within your psyche, the more whole you are and the more you can bring yourself forward to be of help to other people on the same journey of discovery.

My daughter said “Mom, it’s okay to look at the past.  Just don’t stare too hard”.   I consider this good advice.  Staring tends to made me maudlin and depressed so no, I  haven’t been staring,  I’ve just been reflecting on where I am today while realizing that I’m actually happy with myself and others.

Way back when, in Time Passed, I made mistakes I should have learned from.  Except I didn’t.  I continued to exercise the same behavior over and over again.  I thought I could change outcomes because I was different, special or whatever.   If I’d been wiser and given more thought to what I was doing I might have avoided the pain that continued to compound.   I was, however,  incapable of rational thought as dependence fed the addiction that pushed me to practice insanity.  I didn’t have to practice too hard, either.  It quickly became rather natural; sometimes with its own language and invisible friends included at no extra charge.  When I look at where I started, where I went and how great my life is today I’m grateful that Passed is gone and that the gap between then and now is getting wider each day.

NOW, I understand, that Time Passed continually makes me Me.  I am the sum of my experiences, in constant motion with change and growth.  There have been so many good times;  happy times I remember with warm thoughts, smiles and joyful tears as well as those sad days, those periods of pain, fear, anger and drama.  Those times can’t be changed but as long as I can accept every bit of it, good and bad, for what it is/was and know I’m okay, it’s fine.  I also know it could have been worse.  I could be dead.

My Life Time NOW is filled with healing and love, friends that stayed true and new ones, too.  I have my health and my happiness is free.  My circle is widening and includes such a wide array of people, many of whom I could have never guessed would have blessed me with their presence in my life.  A whole new world has opened up to me.  There is so much in NOW.  My children and grandchildren have blessed my life more than I could ever have thought or wished for.  I have a fantastic relationship with a mentally healthy person.  In the program we talk about “happy, joyous and free”.  I am happy, I’ve found joy and best of all I am free to choose my own reality.  Thank GOD.

Sisterhood

I’ve been thinking about my some of my girlfriends and how fortunate I am to have them in my life.   These women are like sisters to me.   I don’t see them very often now because they don’t live on this island.  We’re scattered all over  and I miss being able to get together with them.

My sisters mean the world to me.  They aren’t just fair weather friends.  Instead they are women who had an awareness of my problems and willingly stayed with me through some of my darkest days.  They watched me fall down, helped me get up and then gave me a hug.  They were my cheerleaders, my teachers.  They helped me regain my self esteem, to know it really was none of my business what other people thought of me and to move forward with confidence.  Through them I realized was not a victim and that I could do anything I put my mind to.  While others walked away these women didn’t.  I truly cherish them and hold them close to my heart.

These days we don’t communicate as often as I’d like.  We all seem to have “busy” lives and time just gets away.  This last Sunday I really meant to make a call.  First of all it was too early.  Then I got involved in a project.  I thought about it a couple of times while I was working but put it off and then it slipped my mind.  While I was rushing to get dinner together before “The Amazing Race” started I remembered again.  By  then it was later than I thought because I had become obsessed with my undertaking.  I had gotten “busy” and needless to say the call didn’t get made.

I lay in bed Sunday night and kept thinking about not making that call; realizing how I need to stay more in touch with my sisters.  I rely upon them when I need advise or a good laugh.  I want to hear about what they’re doing; how their children and grandkids are.  I want to listen when they need to talk.  Communication by phone is not like sitting on the beach or going out to dinner together but it’s better than not communicating at all.  Old friendships don’t go away but people do.  Most of us are 60+ and I want to keep our Sisterhood alive and well before we decided to start leaving.  I’d hate to think I didn’t make that last call because I was too “busy”.